It has been one year. One year since I found out I was BRCA 2 positive. That is CRAZY. This year has been INSANE.
Seriously though, so many people would say this is a year to forget but this was easily the best year of my life thus far.
I got my dream job, married my best friend and realized a lot about myself along the way.
I am stronger than I thought possible and I can do anything I set my mind to. I am driven, dedicated and am passionate about the things in my life that I care about.
That’s not to say this year I didn’t have struggles.
Tomorrow marks the day I said out loud, “If it’s possible I’m cutting them off.” I first said it out loud to Tobi, right after I got out of the shower. It was the first time I let it sink in and really thought about the decisions I knew I would be making. However, the decision was made before I knew the details. No matter how they were going to look or feel my boobs were coming off, as soon as humanly possible. It was one of the only days I cried. BUT I didn’t cry out of sadness or fear or even loss. I thought about race for the cure and all those women that I had seen in their pink survivor t-shirts. I thought of my grandmas and all of those other women. I didn’t want to wear a pink shirt. Those women are the epitome of beauty and strength and I would love to stand beside them, but not because I had cancer.
I’m not trying to test fate and I’m not naïve enough to think that I’m not ever going to get cancer. My risk for ovarian cancer is still very high and I also have a risk for melanoma and other various cancers, not to mention anything that wants to come my way, but I’m so glad God gave us the resources to be proactive.
I hope and pray someone who may be debating going through this looks to me for some kind of reassurance. I hope that this can be somewhat of a guide to the positives that can come from this journey. However, there have been ups and downs the entire way.
My clothes all fit funny now, one time I got stuck in a chair, changing my drains made me feel weird, I didn’t get to wear my wedding dress, I feel weird sometimes, it’s hard to itch when you can’t feel, and sometimes I’m not as confident as I wish I could be.
Now on to the ups, my boobs are way bigger than before, I have learned how many amazing people there are in my life, I got to spend almost 5 days a week (when there weren’t snow days) with 20 of the best people on the planet who LOVED me regardless of any screwed up gene I have or flaw (well until I wore glasses, then everyone went crazy), those 20 kids gave me the joy and strength to continue to stay positive. I got to see where I got my strength from…FYI it’s two badass parents…They are stronger than any two people I know. I grew closer than I thought possible to my husband and learned without a doubt I married the most amazing person in the world, I couldn’t have found a more perfect match for myself, and lastly and most importantly, I created a relationship with God that had been lacking.
When this journey started the thing that made me the saddest was the fact I wouldn’t be able to start teaching in the fall. I had day dreamed for years about my future as a teacher. What my classroom would look like, and all the cute decorations I would have. I gave up that dream in July to undergo my first surgery. I never thought it would be possible to start school in the fall, but God had other plans. FIVE DAYS after I moved back to Springfield I got a call from the school I had dreamed of getting a job and 6 weeks to the day after my surgery I was offered my dream job as a kindergarten teacher at Wilder elementary. I know this story has been repeated many times in my blog now, but I believe in God Winks and this was one of those times He winked, and then winked again 6 times so I would notice. Wilder is where He wanted me to be. The community at Wilder was what I needed. The support I was given from the staff and the strength I gained from hanging out with those kids was incredible. ❤
Not only am I blessed to have such a wonderful community at Wilder but I am also lucky to still be working at IPA and receiving support from such an amazing group there. One of my biggest supporters is Jessica and her amazing daughter Melinda. Melinda and Jessica went to relay for life on Friday and Melinda walked in my honor. This is the BEAUTIFUL Melinda. This means the world to me. I am so touched that they would honor me…Luckily today we had princess Melinda come into IPA, and I promised I would feature her and make her internet famous! 🙂 So thank you Melinda and Jessica! Along with Melinda’s amazing mother, Amy, the owner of IPA, is next to the princess in the picture too and she deserves a world of praise for all of the help she has given me over the last 4 1/2 years at IPA. She has helped me so much, not only with knowledge of school supplies but also helping me furnish parts of my classroom this year when I knew I wouldn’t have enough stuff to start the year. She is an incredible lady! So thank you so much Amy. I owe you and I don’t know that I could have survived my first year without the knowledge I’ve gained from you. ALSO SHOUT OUT TO MEG for taking into consideration my cray cray dietary restrictions and getting me nommy fruit bars today. That also means the world me. ALL OF MY other IPA peeps I love you all. I just don’t have pictures with you right now.
This year has been truly incredible and amazing things are continuing to happen. I am prepping for my second year of teaching and also my third surgery on June 23rd. My mom is having her next surgery on June 9th so please keep her in your prayers.
Also we are prepping for race for the cure! So look for that post soon….things are going to get crazy this year!!!! 🙂 Pink hair, tutus and crazy socks… we are pulling out all the stops.
I think this is all for now!!
Allie Boo ❤