Today is the last day on earth for my little Lumpy and Bob. They had a wonderful day. They got to spend the day at the Zoo and they got to put on the most beautiful dress for their last day with me. 😉 I’m a tricky lady, because sadly I don’t think they know whats coming. I wrote them a letter to let them know whats coming.
Dear Lumpy & Bob,
I know this letter may come as a shock to you, but I think we all know that things have been kind of crappy for a while. Well, to be 100% honest, we’ve never had a healthy relationship. A lot of people made of me because you’re too small and we apparently don’t look good together. That was hard, but I still loved you. Then you started to hurt me. That’s not OK, but we got through it. I waited for 6 long years and I finally figured out that you don’t like me either. In fact, you were trying to kill me. So my dear Lumpy and Bob, I’m breaking up with you. It makes me sad because you have been a part of my life for so long, but it’s for the best. I was nothing but nice to you and bought you the nicest things. (Hello I spent way too much money at Victoria’s Secret on you brats!) You were quite the fancy pair, but it’s time for me to say goodbye. I’m not sure what the future will hold… but I’m hoping it will hold a C cup.
Farewell my Lumpy and Bob.
Dear Friends and Family,
I want to thank all of you for helping me through this. I appreciate all of the prayers and words of encouragement. I am pretty at peace right now. I’m worried, but through the amazing prayers from each of you (and some wonderful Xanax), my nerves are calm and I’m ready for this.
With all my love and prayers for you,