Feeding Babies

Feeding a baby is difficult.

Sure sometimes it works right away and that is amazing, but I’m at the age that I know a lot of people who have young babies. Most of them have struggled in one way or another when it comes to feeding.

Whether it’s getting the baby to latch, getting the baby to suck, producing enough milk, finding the right formula, the baby being too gassy, blood in stool, has mucus in stool, won’t eat enough, finding the right bottle. The list goes on and on and on and on and on.

I’m at the point in this post that someone is probably already annoyed. Formula feeding moms may be thinking this is yet another post about breastfeeding, and breastfeeding mom’s may feel mislead because this isn’t a post about breastfeeding. Well, this is a post about feeding. If you feed your baby don’t judge someone else for how they feed theirs.

Seriously.

I. can’t. breastfeed.

I don’t have breast tissue or nipples for that matter.   

That is why I can’t breastfeed…BUT other people may not be able to breastfeed for a number of reasons, one of which might be that they just don’t want to and THAT IS FINE. It is their body and choice.

WHY must society make people feel like less because they can’t or don’t? It’s a struggle to feed a baby regardless of additional pressures of feeling inadequate.

(Sidebar: I have literally thought about writing this post for nearly two years. I never knew how to go about it without offending someone. My emotions regarding feeding both Fallon and now Elliot, have been full spectrum. With Fallon, I definitely suffered postpartum depression.)

Feeling inadequate is something I have struggled with since the day Fallon was born.

I stayed SO positive through my mastectomy, reconstruction and everything in between and beyond…but the day Fallon was born, I needed help feeding her.

My background is in early childhood education, so I had child development courses that taught me about all of the stages of pregnancy and beyond until the child reaches 8 years old. SO I knew when Fallon was having a hard time sucking that was something that happens to babies, but I didn’t know how to fix it. No big deal. I would ask someone at the hospital. I asked my nurse, and she sent in a lactation consultant. No big deal, I figured they would be helpful because they clearly know how to help me. Boy, was I wrong! The lactation consultant came in and said, “Well, I can’t help you because you’re bottle feeding.” The judgment in her voice came out like burning flames and from that moment I felt inadequate.

I have known since I was SEVENTEEN years old and had my lumpectomy that I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed. It was never in the cards for me. But in that moment, less than 24 hours after my beautiful little baby was born, my confidence as a mother was ripped away from me, and it took a long time to get it back.

Fallon went through multiple formulas until we finally started making homemade goat milk formula. It worked wonders for her, as goat milk is the closest thing to human breast milk. However, we stopped when she was 10 months old because of the risks of using raw goat milk. We gave her powdered goat milk formula until she completely went to table food at 11 months old. Right before we stopped though, we had expensive blood work done for Fallon because a medical doctor was convinced that we were hurting her. When the doctor called she informed us that her numbers were off the charts, so the goat milk was clearly doing something right. To this day Fallon has yet to have an ear infection, (knock on wood). I definitely credit a lot of that to her chiropractic care, but also the goat milk formula we made.

After Fallon stopped drinking formula it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I think that was finally when I started feeling like a legit mom again.

But by that time I was already pregnant with Elliot and the anxiety of feeding another baby formula was always in the back of my mind.

I decided that this time we would just use whatever formula the hospital gave us and go from there. Ellie did really well for the first few weeks on the formula but then started to develop symptoms of colic, was uncomfortable a lot of the time, and was spitting up pretty frequently. We switched her to Gentlease, then to Similac Sensitive, then to a soy formula (for literally two bottles and then she vomited a lot, all over Jeff), then to Nutramigen, and FINALLY to ready to feed Alimentum.

She had diarrhea for about three weeks straight, and I literally called the doctor Every. Single. Day. I knew something wasn’t right with Ellie and kept trying to get them to help me figure it out. She was not well, she was losing weight, and sleeping the majority of the time, was colicky, and just didn’t feel good. (I had a very strong feeling it was milk protein allergy and GERD… turns out I was right.) I finally demanded long enough that someone help me and they finally supported our switch to the hypoallergenic formula.

LET ME TELL YOU…IT WORKED WONDERS.

Ellie is SO much happier now. AND she’s thriving…finally. She’s able to stay awake and interact with us and is starting to meet some of her developmental milestones that she was falling behind on.

I’m sure that some people are probably thinking, I bet these girls both would have been perfectly fine had they been breastfed. Sure, maybe you’re right. I’ll never know because that wasn’t in the cards for me. But I’ll be damned if anyone makes me feel like less of a mom again because I didn’t.

If you formula feed, pump, supplement, breastfeed, or whatever good for you. You do you and don’t ever feel like it’s not enough.

My year in photographs. :) JULY 9, 2014.

One year ago today my life changed forever. I have told this story numerous times to anyone who would listen. It has been incredible, and I CAN honestly say it has been the best year of my life. It sounds crazy but July 9th 2013 my life change forever. I chose to stay positive, to be positive, and to realize that being BRCA 2 positive wasn’t the end of the world.

There were moments this past year that I look back and cannot believe that was me. I vividly remember waking up from my mastectomy a year ago today and thinking I’m alive, I’m OK, it’s not that bad. I got this. I need to pee. (Seriously…I peed so much….Sorry but this entire blog is TMI. You’re welcome.)

I obsess about writing this blog. OBSESS. Like for days I think about what to write. I have about 5,000 different ideas and things I want to say…but instead of writing I decided to use pictures.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again, a picture is worth a thousand words, so here is the past year in pictures.

 

This isn’t even everything. HOLY COW. WHAT A YEAR! I wouldn’t change a thing. 🙂

I’m so glad I chose to be positively pretty in pink! 😉

365 Days.

One year.

It has been one year. One year since I found out I was BRCA 2 positive.  That is CRAZY. This year has been INSANE.

Seriously though, so many people would say this is a year to forget but this was easily the best year of my life thus far.

I got my dream job, married my best friend and realized a lot about myself along the way.

I am stronger than I thought possible and I can do anything I set my mind to. I am driven, dedicated and am passionate about the things in my life that I care about.

That’s not to say this year I didn’t have struggles.

Tomorrow marks the day I said out loud, “If it’s possible I’m cutting them off.” I first said it out loud to Tobi, right after I got out of the shower. It was the first time I let it sink in and really thought about the decisions I knew I would be making. However, the decision was made before I knew the details. No matter how they were going to look or feel my boobs were coming off, as soon as humanly possible. It was one of the only days I cried. BUT I didn’t cry out of sadness or fear or even loss. I thought about race for the cure and all those women that I had seen in their pink survivor t-shirts. I thought of my grandmas and all of those other women. I didn’t want to wear a pink shirt. Those women are the epitome of beauty and strength and I would love to stand beside them, but not because I had cancer.

I’m not trying to test fate and I’m not naïve enough to think that I’m not ever going to get cancer. My risk for ovarian cancer is still very high and I also have a risk for melanoma and other various cancers, not to mention anything that wants to come my way, but  I’m so glad God gave us the resources to be proactive.

I hope and pray someone who may be debating going through this looks to me for some kind of reassurance. I hope that this can be somewhat of a guide to the positives that can come from this journey. However, there have been ups and downs the entire way.

My clothes all fit funny now, one time I got stuck in a chair, changing my drains made me feel weird, I didn’t get to wear my wedding dress, I feel weird sometimes, it’s hard to itch when you can’t feel, and sometimes I’m not as confident as I wish I could be.

Now on to the ups, my boobs are way bigger than before, I have learned how many amazing people there are in my life, I got to spend almost 5 days a week (when there weren’t snow days) with 20 of the best people on the planet who LOVED me regardless of any screwed up gene I have or flaw (well until I wore glasses, then everyone went crazy), those 20 kids gave me the joy and strength to continue to stay positive.  I got to see where I got my strength from…FYI it’s two badass parents…They are stronger than any two people I know. I grew closer than I thought possible to my husband and learned without a doubt I married the most amazing person in the world, I couldn’t have found a more perfect match for myself, and lastly and most importantly, I created a relationship with God that had been lacking.

When this journey started the thing that made me the saddest was the fact I wouldn’t be able to start teaching in the fall. I had day dreamed for years about my future as a teacher. What my classroom would look like, and all the cute decorations I would have. I gave up that dream in July to undergo my first surgery. I never thought it would be possible to start school in the fall, but God had other plans. FIVE DAYS after I moved back to Springfield I got a call from the school I had dreamed of getting a job and 6 weeks to the day after my surgery I was offered my dream job as a kindergarten teacher at Wilder elementary. I know this story has been repeated many times in my blog now, but I believe in God Winks and this was one of those times He winked, and then winked again 6 times so I would notice. Wilder is where He wanted me to be. The community at Wilder was what I needed. The support I was given from the staff and the strength I gained from hanging out with those kids was incredible. ❤

Not only am I blessed to have such a wonderful community at Wilder but I am also lucky to still be working at IPA and receiving support from such an amazing group there. One of my biggest supporters is Jessica and her amazing daughter Melinda. Melinda and Jessica went to relay for life on Friday and Melinda walked in my honor. This is the BEAUTIFUL Melinda. Melinda & I photo 2 This means the world to me. I am so touched that they would honor me…Luckily today we had princess Melinda come into IPA, and I promised I would feature her and make her internet famous!photo 3 🙂 So thank you Melinda and Jessica! Along with Melinda’s amazing mother,  Amy, the owner of IPA, is next to the princess in the picture too and she deserves a world of praise for all of the help she has given me over the last 4 1/2 years at IPA. She has helped me so much, not only with knowledge of school supplies but also helping me furnish parts of my classroom this year when I knew I wouldn’t have enough stuff to start the year. She is an incredible lady! So thank you so much Amy. I owe you and I don’t know that I could have survived my first year without the knowledge I’ve gained from you. ALSO SHOUT OUT TO MEG for taking into consideration my cray cray dietary restrictions and getting me nommy fruit bars today. That also means the world me. ALL OF MY other IPA peeps I love you all. I just don’t have pictures with you right now.

This year has been truly incredible and amazing things are continuing to happen. I am prepping for my second year of teaching and also my third surgery on June 23rd. My mom is having her next surgery on June 9th so please keep her in your prayers.

Also we are prepping for race for the cure! So look for that post soon….things are going to get crazy this year!!!! 🙂 Pink hair, tutus and crazy socks… we are pulling out all the stops.

I think this is all for now!!

 

Love,

Allie Boo ❤

Mrs. Rodgers (that’s me), YOU ARE SO STRONG.

I apologize for not writing sooner. Truthfully I’m sure there is no need to apologize. I’m fairly confident that no one sits at home thinking, “Why the heck hasn’t Allie updated her blog?”

If you are, I’m sorry for that.

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED. Jeff I got married, SO I’m no longer Allie Fletcher, now I’m Allie Rodgers, (aka Mrs. Rodgers.) We also bought a house, and I made it to winter break without having a nervous breakdown. (From my understanding this is actually a major accomplishment for a first year teacher.)

I made it to WINTER BREAK and now I get to have surgery tomorrow, and get more normal boobs! (YES).

I really would rather be cutting out all of this fun stuff for my classroom or painting my walls in my house, or organizing my classroom, but instead Mom, Dad, Jeff & Shirlee get to cut out my stuff for me, and my wonderful in-laws have been painting.

Image

I decided I probably should write an extremely honest blog. Not that I wasn’t honest before but I feel like I need to really get down to the nitty gritty about everything that happened over the last 5 (almost 6 months).

I gave you the timeline in one of my previous (the last one?) blog posts, so if I start to ramble and get confusing please refer back to that post.

I truly have stayed positive like I promised myself throughout this whole experience and I think that it has made this journey much easier. I am constantly telling myself it could be much worse. However, I can’t truly say I haven’t had negative experiences throughout this. I feel like through my blog people who have or will go through this might be getting a false sense of reality. I don’t want that at all. I will be honest, there are days that I feel like crap, I am constantly tired, and sometimes my shoulders/back will randomly hurt so bad in the middle of the day that I have to go to the nurse and get an ice pack. Does this mean the world is coming to an end? Hell no it doesn’t. It means I go to the nurse and get an ice pack and get a big hug from one of my favorite five or six-year-olds and then (as we say in kindergarten), “IT’S ALL GOOD!!” This process isn’t easy. It does suck at times, and there are days I go to bed at 8:30 even though there are a thousand other things I could be doing. There are stupid things I can’t do, like carry big boxes in/out of school. It makes you feel weak; but then there are days when your kindergarteners say “Miss Fletcher(or Mrs. Rodgers), YOU ARE SO STRONG. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU JUST MOVED THAT! IT’S BECAUSE YOU ARE SO HEALTHY.” BOOM.  Strong teacher right here!!! Seriously, kids are great- they are brutally honest, and even though I sometimes feel like I am at my weakest, they still think I’m strong and healthy and remind me it’s all about perspective. I am strong. Actually, I would go as far as saying I am stronger than I have ever been in my life.

On that note, even though I do have a lot more to say, I need to go take a shower  and wash with antibacterial soap…..FUN….YAY SURGERY PREP. I can drink water for 1 hour and 27 minutes.

Here we go again!

Allie Boo Rodgers 😉

Timeline of my life lately…YOU. ARE. WELCOME.

I’ve been waiting for a moment to breathe so I could update everyone on my life. Holy goodness gracious, God is good, and a lot has happened since my last update! Good thing I love to talk, so here I go, here I go, here I go.

SOOO, I moved back to Springfield about a week and a half after my mom had her surgery. I moved back on Saturday and started working at OTC as a sub in a 3 year old classroom. I really enjoyed it, especially listening to Pete the Cat on repete (RE”PETE”, get it?) Don’t worry there’s more where that came from! 😉

So one fine day after I had changed about 8,000 diapers (not really, probably 3), I checked my phone on lunch and had a voicemail. Weird, I thought. Well it wasn’t weird-it was awesome!!! The principal from the school that I worked at last year as a sub had a kindergarten position open and wanted to interview me! I was so excited, and absolutely terrified. SO that was on a Thursday. The following Monday I would have my interview.

GUESS WHAT, GUESS WHAT, GUESS WHAT!?

I nailed it. I got the job the next day!!!!

OK. That last little bit was a little confusing so I’ll explain the timeline a little better…..

Saturday-Move back to Springfield

Monday-Start working

Thursday-Get interview

Friday-Go home to my plastic surgeon (because I still should be going every week).

Saturday-Go shopping with Jorden and get super cute outfit at Loft for interview

Sunday-Go home to Springfield

Monday-Interview                                                                                                                                                     

Tuesday-Get job!!!

Wednesday-Sign paperwork/go see my classroom

Thursday-Monday-Prepare my classroom for kids, (Monday was Labor Day)

Tuesday-Start school with 19 (now 20) of the BEST kids I’ve ever met in my life. This sounds cliche, but I absolutely love them all already. They make me so happy. I want to do everything I can to make their lives AMAZING.

SO it’s been 3 weeks that I’ve had them in class, and holy cow, it’s exhausting, and I need 18 more hours in the week to get things done, but I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I’m stressed, but who wouldn’t be starting the school year 2 weeks late, but it is so worth it.

It absolutely blows my mind daily how lucky I am to have this opportunity, and how perfectly this all worked out.

Here’s another timeline, because I like those, and it makes sense probably because I am trying to make a schedule that is permanent for my class, and instead I’m writing my blog. Oh well. ❤

Timeline of my life starting last springish time…

January-Sub at Wilder for the first time

Sometime between January and February I started subbing at Wilder a lot, and really liked it. ALSO GET ENGAGED…..

March-Start to find doctor to figure out about my gluten problem

April/early May-Do blood work to figure out about Gluten & BOOBS

June 6th-Find out I’m BRCA2 positive.

June (a few days later)-Go to genetic counselor-confirm that I can and will be having a prophylactic mastectomy

July 9th-Have mastectomy

For the next 4 weeks watch Will & Grace, or Reba all day. Eat all the Chunky Monkey because that’s Gluten FREE!!!!

August 6th-Mom has her surgery.

Sometime a week or so after that… Move back to Springfield.

August 29th-First official day at my real job

September 3, 2013-First day with kids as a kindergarten teacher

 

I said, over and over and over, God has a plan. And boy does He. I am so thankful for the chance to literally have my dream job.

I of course have over-shared my story with all the other teachers as I always do, and give far too much information about myself to people who don’t know me that well. But it helps me. When I feel guilty about something or am feeling insecure, I just like to get it out in the open, get it over with. It’s part of what makes me, me and makes me unique. It’s as if I just say here, here’s everything, I hope you like me, because if you do now, you always will. I’m very simple, ya get what ya get and ya don’t through a fit.

I don’t think that’s a totally appropriate place for that saying, BUT I say it so much, it seemed appropriate. DEAL WITH IT.  

So ya, I haven’t written because I’ve been working.

The hardest part in going through my surgery was feeling sad that I wouldn’t be starting my career. I’m serious; I really truly am a teacher dork. I love doing things related to school, and planning lessons and doing cool stuff for my kids. It makes me so happy.

If you’re wondering about how I’m feeling health wise after all this, which obviously you are duh!!! 😉 I am doing remarkably well. I still need to go to my doctor before my implant surgery, so I might have to miss a day or two for an appointment. I’m waiting though because it makes me sad to think of leaving them, also it makes me scared to leave sub plans. But I’m doing well. My armpits hurt and are chafing, why? I have no idea… I sleep with an ice pack a few nights a week on my shoulder because it hurts. And one day my under boob hurt so I put an ice pack there….It helped. So all in all I’m not too shabby, feeling like a rock star, making all that money. When I say all that money, it’s sarcasm, because I only get paid once a month, at the end of the month, so I have not made any money yet. But only 11 more days. 😉

Also side bar, if anyone is wondering about my wedding, I guess I could talk about that here too. Jeff and I are still getting married on November 30th, but we are getting married at my home church. I have done about 10% of the planning that should be done by now. I have my dress that will fit once I have perfect boobs, my bridesmaids are going to pick up their dresses soon, and we all have shoes. Also I have Jeff’s ring to pick up at Helzberg and most importantly I have a loving groom who will wait for me at the end of any isle I decide to stick him in. SO really I’m so not worried about it. Our mom’s on the other hand, are a little more, worried.

Hey I listen to Pete the Cat enough to know, no matter what you step in you just keep walking along and singing your song, BECAUSE IT’S ALL GOOD. 😉

Love always,

Allie Boo aka Miss Fletcher aka FLETCHER (please scream that when you say it) AKA teacher 

Good day!

So I haven’t updated in forever! OOPS!

The Fletcher household has been VERY busy!

A week ago today my mom had her surgery!! She’s been doing fabulous! The drains have been bothering her a lot, but her pain isn’t too bad!

So I really have been thinking about updating. Each day I decide I’m going to, I get distracted or too tired.

The first update I was going to do, was actually on the day of my mom’s surgery! She did wonderful and I was so proud of her. But really I wanted to tell you about, “A Day in the Life of the Fletcher’s.”

I’ll go ahead and summarize that day for you. I just want to say, this situation has been really strange because I’ve been able to be on both sides, I’ve been the one in surgery and the one waiting on someone in surgery now.

So we got to the hospital at 6:30am–my mom, dad, and I. We waited with Mom for about an hour and a half, while they got her dressed for surgery and all that business, then we went and waited while she went to nuclear medicine. (I did this too, this is where they inject dye to be able to see your lymph nodes, or something.) Dad and I waited for an hour and a half for this (with me, it was 45 minutes so we were kind of concerned). We finally saw Mom come out, and I pretty much through a fit, and they let Dad and I put scrubs on so we could go back with her to get her IV and meet with the doctor before surgery. (We weren’t really totally supposed to be back there!)

So mom started surgery at 10:17am, and Dad and I went to wait in the waiting room. By 12:07 Dr. Limpert came out and said the first part of the surgery went super well! Since we knew we had approximately 2 hours before the plastic surgeon would be done, Dad went to get food, and I waited for Shirlee and saved our seat in the waiting room….When Shirlee got there and Dad was back we went to search out some gluten free food at the hospital…guess what, they don’t have any unless you’re a patient. I was starving and getting a little crabby at this point because all I had for breakfast at 5am was a blueberry muffin, and around 10 some potato chips…so I ordered PF Changs….Shirlee and I went to get it, and mom finished up surgery while we were gone. THEN we got to go wait for mom in her sweet room for two hours!

By the time mom got to the room it was around 4, and I was already absolutely exhausted…(just for reference, Mom’s surgery was exactly 4 weeks to the day after my surgery). I had been walking around the hospital, carrying a heavy bag and sitting in uncomfortable chairs since 6:30am. Shirlee and I stayed at the hospital until 9:45pm. By the time we got home and I got in bed at 11, I passed out!!!

We were back to the hospital at 8:00am and Mom was way more alert (obviously) and talkative! 🙂 Luckily she got to go home at around 1:00 that day so we were home around 1:30. We got her comfortable and I went to Target to get her medicine. This was my first time driving by myself, which is way harder than I expected. Pushing a cart around Target is not the easiest thing in the world either, when your chest muscles are weaker than an infants.

So her days have pretty much been what mine were the previous weeks, Reba and Will and Grace…

I however have been a busy busy bee taking care of Mom and myself.

Thursday and Friday were hard because my stretching was painful so I was kind of lazy but on Saturday when Jeff was here, I started feeling way better. We went to whole foods, and we made dinner and did all the dishes!!!! WHOOOO!!! I was exhausted from that too.

Yesterday was the worst, I pulled weeds, OH MY GOSH, my legs are so sore today it’s insane!!!!!!!

I also did laundry but that doesn’t matter, pulling weeds is painful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Throughout all of this, I do want to say some days do suck and it’s painful but it could be so much worse. I am really blessed to have been able to have this surgery and prevent something far worse.

Thanks for reading! Please feel free to share this with anyone going through a similar experience.

Love always,

Allie Boo ❤

No Pain No Gain but Thank God No Drain

Finally, I got my last set of drains out!!! Thank God!

I got another injection of saline. Which I talked about in my last post but I figured I’d go into a little more detail about this whole process……

Here’s the situation:

I had my first surgery which was a bilateral mastectomy. They removed my nipples and took two lymph nodes from my right side,  and one lymph node from my left. This was to double check that had any of the lumps in my breast been cancerous it had not spread to the lymph nodes.

THANK GOD the pathology reports came back last Tuesday and I don’t/didn’t have cancer.

So after the surgery I had two drains on each side. One set looped up around the the underside of the breast and the other went up towards my armpit. The drains were then stitched into my underarm/breast area.

The drains had to be emptied every day and measure the amount of liquid that was coming out. It was disgusting. It wasn’t necessarily painful but extremely annoying. You constantly had to pin them up or tie something around your neck to hold them up. Thankfully a wonderful friend of Abby’s family made us a tool belt type contraption to wear and hold the drains! It was absolutely a life saver. After a week I got to get one set of drains out on each side. It was wonderful but then I still had to live another week with the other set. Let me tell you they were extremely sensitive by the sixteenth day! Pretty much you could look at them and it would feel like they were pulling out.

Praise the Lord, they’re finally out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The first set of drains he removed them I couldn’t feel  at all. Today it was a bit more painful and now afterward they’re pretty sore. Kind of like someone sucker punched me.

They’re getting better though, I think it was because they had been so sensitive prior to their removal. But I’m very relieved. I no longer have worry about them yanking out when I’m getting dressed or showering. It’s just delightful!!!

So after I got the drains removed the plastic surgeon injected saline into a port in my breast. (Just a little info: he uses a magnet to find the port because it’s metal and I have to carry around a card that says I have the implant in case I go through a metal detector…..weird)  I started out with a deflated implant and they add saline to stretch my muscles. I will continue to go back each week until I am at the size that I want to be. 🙂 (Just a friendly reminder that’s a C!)

After I’m to the point I want to be I have to wait about 1 month and I will have another surgery where he will insert the actual implant.

After I’m healed from that I will have a 3rd and final surgery to get nipples and they will make my breasts look more natural.

So it’s just a super long process.

But overall I’m doing really well!!

Wednesday I went with Abby, her sister Taylor, my mom and Abby’s mom to get our nails done! It was a blast and such a wonderful relief to get out of the house and feel like a girl! Also because Abby and I are so awesome we walked to Schnucks by ourselves. We’re pretty freaking badass!

I wrote everything above on Thursday. Then I got too tired to edit it so now I’m updating again on Saturday!!!

So yesterday (Friday) was rough. I was pretty sore from the injections but eventually I walked around the little pond out back and I felt so much better.

This morning when I woke up I was kind of sore,  but decided to walk bright and early and ended up walking 3 laps. After that I stretched and I feel absolutely wonderful. I stretched my arms and chest muscles. I think stretching naturally really helped me. It changed the way the saline was sitting in the implant, which in turn changed the way the implant kind of looked. I think it looks good.

On an extremely exciting note, I got my wedding shoes today! Look at me actually doing something productive for the wedding! 🙂

Not being around Jeff is starting to be the hardest part of this. Harder than shaving my arm pits! But I’ll be with him next weekend and in 4 months and 2 days I get to walk down the  aisle.

I really am trying hard to stay positive throughout all of this. I’m doing a good job so far. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and God has a plan for me.

Each day I realize this experience could be far worse. I am truly blessed each and everyday to have such a solid support system in my life.

Thanks for all the loving support.

Love always,

Allie Boo